Thought cloud of Attractive and Unattractive qualities in women (or people in general)

I received an email today from a friend of mine with this question. I decided to devote some thought to it and see what answers I could pull from my twitter/facebook community.

My list

attractive qualities:
honesty, compassion, understanding.
respectful, classy, articulate, intelligent, educated, curious

maturity
must be able to listen, compromise and problem solve without becoming upset
in control of herself and her emotions
loyal, thoughtful, selfless

aware of her strengths and weaknesses
self-motivated
socially active, friendly, and engaging

healthy, physically active, sports or exercise

unattractive qualities:
jealousy, excessive anger, intolerance, need for control
disorganized, obsessive, messy, dirty, vulgar

insecurity

acting out for attention, inappropriate dress

physically lashing out, pushy, abuse

vengeful
From twitter:
@brandennmichael


"Attractive: Being strong and powerfu. i.e. @JENNIWOWW"


"Girls who "need" you. #unattractive"


"Girls who eat like slobs.  #unattractive"



@inshaneshane "girls who consistently whine  #unattractive"



@m0llybee "An outgoing personality is attractive, sluttiness isnt."



@mandagoesrawr "attractive: when a girl knows they are classy sassy & confident without having anyone tell them..unattractive: extreme insecurity"


@ardehp "(unattractive: girls)  that don't take the pill when they have a regular fling every few days. Why force the men to wear tight latex around them?"


From Facebook:

Elle Harmer "I'd say lack of self... not being able to define herself without an outside romantic influence"


Thanks to everyone who contributed :)



 

Thought cloud of Attractive and Unattractive qualities in women (or people in general)

I received an email today from a friend of mine with this question. I decided to devote some thought to it and see what answers I could pull from my twitter/facebook community.

My list

attractive qualities:
honesty, compassion, understanding.
respectful, classy, articulate, intelligent, educated, curious

maturity
must be able to listen, compromise and problem solve without becoming upset
in control of herself and her emotions
loyal, thoughtful, selfless

aware of her strengths and weaknesses
self-motivated
socially active, friendly, and engaging

healthy, physically active, sports or exercise

unattractive qualities:
jealousy, excessive anger, intolerance, need for control
disorganized, obsessive, messy, dirty, vulgar

insecurity

acting out for attention, inappropriate dress

physically lashing out, pushy, abuse

vengeful
From twitter:
@brandennmichael


"Attractive: Being strong and powerfu. i.e. @JENNIWOWW"


"Girls who "need" you. #unattractive"


"Girls who eat like slobs.  #unattractive"



@inshaneshane "girls who consistently whine  #unattractive"



@m0llybee "An outgoing personality is attractive, sluttiness isnt."



@mandagoesrawr "attractive: when a girl knows they are classy sassy & confident without having anyone tell them..unattractive: extreme insecurity"


@ardehp "(unattractive: girls)  that don't take the pill when they have a regular fling every few days. Why force the men to wear tight latex around them?"


From Facebook:

Elle Harmer "I'd say lack of self... not being able to define herself without an outside romantic influence"


Thanks to everyone who contributed :)



 

Discussion on the Definition of Cheating (and analysis)

Topic Start


Joe Jiko Having sex doesn't mean you're cheating. As soon as someone else is more important than your partner, that's real cheating. Sex is just an activity.

Alli Ohmes And so as long as who you're having sex with means nothing to you, it's not cheating on your significant other?

Joe Jiko You got it Alli

Alli Ohmes Wow. I'm glad there's decent men out there that don't feel that way. That's kinda fucked up

Note: “That’s kinda fucked up” has no meaning whatsoever. I try to dig deeper into her thought process.

Joe Jiko How is it? Does it affect you if another person has sex with someone else? It's a physical activity with no lasting effects.. Also, don't assume because I don't believe in "physical cheating" rules that I practice them. open your mind and withhold your judgment.. If you're able.

Note: Alli mentions it later, but here I’m obviously assuming there are no outside variables such as pregnancy or STDs.

Bobby Hayslett No lasting effects to you. some of us only make love to ones we care for and only them

Note: I don’t even know why this guy bothers talking. What does saying that “some” people “make love” to only the people they care about have to do with the discussion that sex has no negative or lasting effects? Vague, generic, and.. irrelevant. Also, I’d like to point out that sex is a physical activity whereas love is an emotional response. The two are generally associated but aren’t necessarily directly related. For example, it’s possible to love someone and NOT have sex with them OR to have sex with someone and NOT love them which renders this argument invalid.

Joe Jiko But who's to say my way is "less decent" than your way?

Bobby Hayslett Morals do

Joe Jiko My morals or yours? do you think everyone feels exactly as you do? Do you think they will in 100 years? Morals change with the times. The reality is, there is no right or wrong especially if what you're doing has no negative effect on outside parties. And FYI, I've been with the same girl for over a year and have only "made love" to her. So be careful who you're calling the bad guy.

Bobby Hayslett Cheating has plenty if negative effects. You practice too much of what you preach and have blinded yourself of trueness of the heart

Note: This guy isn’t really contributing but I left him in here anyway.

Joe Jiko I've done no such thing. Nice try though. If you have a closed mind, there's no purpose in trying to explain life to you.

Note: In retrospect, I should’ve just ignored him.

Alli Ohmes I never said you do practice them, just that what you said is kinda fucked up, in my views and obviously others. Having sex with someone shouldn't come as easy as people think now. Just having sex with someone you don't give a shit about is wrong to me, and that doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them.

Note: Using other people’s views as a defense of your own does NOT count as supporting evidence. Why do other people have that view? Why do you share other peoples' views?

She states that “having sex with someone shouldn’t come as easy as people think”, that’s a generic statement with no meaning whatsoever. Is she assuming that people think that way? Why is she citing hypothetical thoughts of other people in opposite defense of her own?

“Just having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about is wrong to me”
Finally! She’s actually using her own view! OK! You think having emotionally detached sex is wrong.. but why? There are still no reasons..

“Doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them”
Ahh! Does everyone make the same commitment? Aren’t all relationships unique? Should there be rules and restrictions? Why?

Joe Jiko Why is it wrong? Because somebody taught you so? Do you ever think about the things you believe or do you follow along thoughtlessly?

Bobby Hayslett If joe has been with a girl for a year and hasent had sex with other girls then why is he saying this? It's making no sense and its contradicting

Note: I choose not to answer him, but at least he’s thinking. I’ve been with one person for a year and I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. This is purely a coincidence! If it ever happens that I want to engage in sex with someone other than the person I’m in a titled relationship with.. I will. Why should there be unnecessary restrictions? I truly believe that restricting a person’s life is unhealthy and ultimately leads to increased discontent or unhappiness. The exception would be restricting a person from performing actions that affect others negatively.. such as murder. I could understand if my actions had a negative effect.. but if reasonable steps are taken to ensure that both parties are clear of STDs and there’s no pregnancy (which arguably would still not affect a 3rd party), there should be none!

Alli Ohmes Sex does have lasting effects as well, there's stds and unwanted pregnancies, which both wouldn't be as big a deal if you're with someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck. And it causes chemicals in the brain to be released making you feel a bond with who you've fucked and all kinds of other shit.

Note: Riiiiiight chemicals in the brain. The same ones that occur with every emotion? Stress? Anger? Similar to the ones that occur with medicine, drugs, food, alcohol, and any other chemical intake. Those emotions may provoke a reaction, but free will gives us the ability to deny the default action. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Just because you feel amorous (temporarily) doesn’t mean the feeling is going to stick around. I think I’ve already touched on the STDs/pregnancy stem.

“someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck”
I’d like to point out that NOWHERE did I mention fucking anyone I didn’t trust.

Alli Ohmes I do think about things, I don't just follow along thoughtlessly. That's why I'm part of a very small percentage of teenagers who doesn't believe sex should just be with anyone because you're turned on or think that they are hot; there's much more to it.

Joe Jiko There's actually not more to it. Sex is for reproduction.. Nothing else.

Alli Ohmes Then why do it without trying to reproduce? Why are there condoms and birth control? You ever think it could be about making the person you love feel good? But that would require knowing who you're in.

Note: I should’ve said “reproduction, recreation, and exercise”.

“That would require knowing who you’re in”
Again, not sure why she thinks I’m talking about anonymous sex when it’s never mentioned.

Joe Jiko „@alli i'm out of time to reply :/ if you'd like to continue this conversation feel free to message me.

Topic End

Please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments.

Discussion

Topic Start


Joe Jiko Having sex doesn't mean you're cheating. As soon as someone else is more important than your partner, that's real cheating. Sex is just an activity.

Alli Ohmes And so as long as who you're having sex with means nothing to you, it's not cheating on your significant other?

Joe Jiko You got it @alli

Alli Ohmes Wow. I'm glad there's decent men out there that don't feel that way. That's kinda fucked up

Note: “That’s kinda fucked up” has no meaning whatsoever. I try to dig deeper into her thought process.

Joe Jiko How is it? Does it affect you if another person has sex with someone else? It's a physical activity with no lasting effects.. Also, don't assume because I don't believe in "physical cheating" rules that I practice them. open your mind and withhold your judgment.. If you're able.

Note: Alli mentions it later, but here I’m obviously assuming there are no outside variables such as pregnancy or STDs.

Bobby Hayslett No lasting effects to you. some of us only make love to ones we care for and only them

Note: I don’t even know why this guy bothers talking. What does saying that “some” people “make love” to only the people they care about have to do with the discussion that sex has no negative or lasting effects? Vague, generic, and.. irrelevant. Also, I’d like to point out that sex is a physical activity whereas love is an emotional response. The two are generally associated but aren’t necessarily directly related. For example, it’s possible to love someone and NOT have sex with them OR to have sex with someone and NOT love them which renders this argument invalid.

Joe Jiko But who's to say my way is "less decent" than your way?

Bobby Hayslett Morals do

Joe Jiko My morals or yours? do you think everyone feels exactly as you do? Do you think they will in 100 years? Morals change with the times. The reality is, there is no right or wrong especially if what you're doing has no negative effect on outside parties. And FYI, I've been with the same girl for over a year and have only "made love" to her. So be careful who you're calling the bad guy.

Bobby Hayslett Cheating has plenty if negative effects. You practice too much of what you preach and have blinded yourself of trueness of the heart

Note: This guy isn’t really contributing but I left him in here anyway.

Joe Jiko I've done no such thing. Nice try though. If you have a closed mind, there's no purpose in trying to explain life to you.

Note: In retrospect, I should’ve just ignored him.

Alli Ohmes I never said you do practice them, just that what you said is kinda fucked up, in my views and obviously others. Having sex with someone shouldn't come as easy as people think now. Just having sex with someone you don't give a shit about is wrong to me, and that doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them.

Note: Using other people’s views as a defense of your own does NOT count as supporting evidence. Why do other people have that view? Why do you share other peoples' views?

She states that “having sex with someone shouldn’t come as easy as people think”, that’s a generic statement with no meaning whatsoever. Is she assuming that people think that way? Why is she citing hypothetical thoughts of other people in opposite defense of her own?

“Just having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about is wrong to me”
Finally! She’s actually using her own view! OK! You think having emotionally detached sex is wrong.. but why? There are still no reasons..

“Doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them”
Ahh! Does everyone make the same commitment? Aren’t all relationships unique? Should there be rules and restrictions? Why?

Joe Jiko Why is it wrong? Because somebody taught you so? Do you ever think about the things you believe or do you follow along thoughtlessly?

Bobby Hayslett If joe has been with a girl for a year and hasent had sex with other girls then why is he saying this? It's making no sense and its contradicting

Note: I choose not to answer him, but at least he’s thinking. I’ve been with one person for a year and I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. This is purely a coincidence! If it ever happens that I want to engage in sex with someone other than the person I’m in a titled relationship with.. I will. Why should there be unnecessary restrictions? I truly believe that restricting a person’s life is unhealthy and ultimately leads to increased discontent or unhappiness. The exception would be restricting a person from performing actions that affect others negatively.. such as murder. I could understand if my actions had a negative effect.. but if reasonable steps are taken to ensure that both parties are clear of STDs and there’s no pregnancy (which arguably would still not affect a 3rd party), there should be none!

Alli Ohmes Sex does have lasting effects as well, there's stds and unwanted pregnancies, which both wouldn't be as big a deal if you're with someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck. And it causes chemicals in the brain to be released making you feel a bond with who you've fucked and all kinds of other shit.

Note: Riiiiiight chemicals in the brain. The same ones that occur with every emotion? Stress? Anger? Similar to the ones that occur with medicine, drugs, food, alcohol, and any other chemical intake. Those emotions may provoke a reaction, but free will gives us the ability to deny the default action. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Just because you feel amorous (temporarily) doesn’t mean the feeling is going to stick around. I think I’ve already touched on the STDs/pregnancy stem.

“someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck”
I’d like to point out that NOWHERE did I mention fucking anyone I didn’t trust.

Alli Ohmes I do think about things, I don't just follow along thoughtlessly. That's why I'm part of a very small percentage of teenagers who doesn't believe sex should just be with anyone because you're turned on or think that they are hot; there's much more to it.

Joe Jiko There's actually not more to it. Sex is for reproduction.. Nothing else.

Alli Ohmes Then why do it without trying to reproduce? Why are there condoms and birth control? You ever think it could be about making the person you love feel good? But that would require knowing who you're in.

Note: I should’ve said “reproduction, recreation, and exercise”.

“That would require knowing who you’re in”
Again, not sure why she thinks I’m talking about anonymous sex when it’s never mentioned.

Joe Jiko „@alli i'm out of time to reply :/ if you'd like to continue this conversation feel free to message me.

Topic End

Please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments.

Discussion on the Definition of Cheating (and analysis)

Topic Start


Joe Jiko Having sex doesn't mean you're cheating. As soon as someone else is more important than your partner, that's real cheating. Sex is just an activity.

Alli Ohmes And so as long as who you're having sex with means nothing to you, it's not cheating on your significant other?

Joe Jiko You got it Alli

Alli Ohmes Wow. I'm glad there's decent men out there that don't feel that way. That's kinda fucked up

Note: “That’s kinda fucked up” has no meaning whatsoever. I try to dig deeper into her thought process.

Joe Jiko How is it? Does it affect you if another person has sex with someone else? It's a physical activity with no lasting effects.. Also, don't assume because I don't believe in "physical cheating" rules that I practice them. open your mind and withhold your judgment.. If you're able.

Note: Alli mentions it later, but here I’m obviously assuming there are no outside variables such as pregnancy or STDs.

Bobby Hayslett No lasting effects to you. some of us only make love to ones we care for and only them

Note: I don’t even know why this guy bothers talking. What does saying that “some” people “make love” to only the people they care about have to do with the discussion that sex has no negative or lasting effects? Vague, generic, and.. irrelevant. Also, I’d like to point out that sex is a physical activity whereas love is an emotional response. The two are generally associated but aren’t necessarily directly related. For example, it’s possible to love someone and NOT have sex with them OR to have sex with someone and NOT love them which renders this argument invalid.

Joe Jiko But who's to say my way is "less decent" than your way?

Bobby Hayslett Morals do

Joe Jiko My morals or yours? do you think everyone feels exactly as you do? Do you think they will in 100 years? Morals change with the times. The reality is, there is no right or wrong especially if what you're doing has no negative effect on outside parties. And FYI, I've been with the same girl for over a year and have only "made love" to her. So be careful who you're calling the bad guy.

Bobby Hayslett Cheating has plenty if negative effects. You practice too much of what you preach and have blinded yourself of trueness of the heart

Note: This guy isn’t really contributing but I left him in here anyway.

Joe Jiko I've done no such thing. Nice try though. If you have a closed mind, there's no purpose in trying to explain life to you.

Note: In retrospect, I should’ve just ignored him.

Alli Ohmes I never said you do practice them, just that what you said is kinda fucked up, in my views and obviously others. Having sex with someone shouldn't come as easy as people think now. Just having sex with someone you don't give a shit about is wrong to me, and that doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them.

Note: Using other people’s views as a defense of your own does NOT count as supporting evidence. Why do other people have that view? Why do you share other peoples' views?

She states that “having sex with someone shouldn’t come as easy as people think”, that’s a generic statement with no meaning whatsoever. Is she assuming that people think that way? Why is she citing hypothetical thoughts of other people in opposite defense of her own?

“Just having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about is wrong to me”
Finally! She’s actually using her own view! OK! You think having emotionally detached sex is wrong.. but why? There are still no reasons..

“Doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them”
Ahh! Does everyone make the same commitment? Aren’t all relationships unique? Should there be rules and restrictions? Why?

Joe Jiko Why is it wrong? Because somebody taught you so? Do you ever think about the things you believe or do you follow along thoughtlessly?

Bobby Hayslett If joe has been with a girl for a year and hasent had sex with other girls then why is he saying this? It's making no sense and its contradicting

Note: I choose not to answer him, but at least he’s thinking. I’ve been with one person for a year and I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. This is purely a coincidence! If it ever happens that I want to engage in sex with someone other than the person I’m in a titled relationship with.. I will. Why should there be unnecessary restrictions? I truly believe that restricting a person’s life is unhealthy and ultimately leads to increased discontent or unhappiness. The exception would be restricting a person from performing actions that affect others negatively.. such as murder. I could understand if my actions had a negative effect.. but if reasonable steps are taken to ensure that both parties are clear of STDs and there’s no pregnancy (which arguably would still not affect a 3rd party), there should be none!

Alli Ohmes Sex does have lasting effects as well, there's stds and unwanted pregnancies, which both wouldn't be as big a deal if you're with someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck. And it causes chemicals in the brain to be released making you feel a bond with who you've fucked and all kinds of other shit.

Note: Riiiiiight chemicals in the brain. The same ones that occur with every emotion? Stress? Anger? Similar to the ones that occur with medicine, drugs, food, alcohol, and any other chemical intake. Those emotions may provoke a reaction, but free will gives us the ability to deny the default action. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Just because you feel amorous (temporarily) doesn’t mean the feeling is going to stick around. I think I’ve already touched on the STDs/pregnancy stem.

“someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck”
I’d like to point out that NOWHERE did I mention fucking anyone I didn’t trust.

Alli Ohmes I do think about things, I don't just follow along thoughtlessly. That's why I'm part of a very small percentage of teenagers who doesn't believe sex should just be with anyone because you're turned on or think that they are hot; there's much more to it.

Joe Jiko There's actually not more to it. Sex is for reproduction.. Nothing else.

Alli Ohmes Then why do it without trying to reproduce? Why are there condoms and birth control? You ever think it could be about making the person you love feel good? But that would require knowing who you're in.

Note: I should’ve said “reproduction, recreation, and exercise”.

“That would require knowing who you’re in”
Again, not sure why she thinks I’m talking about anonymous sex when it’s never mentioned.

Joe Jiko „@alli i'm out of time to reply :/ if you'd like to continue this conversation feel free to message me.

Topic End

Please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments.

Discussion on the Definition of Cheating (and analysis)

Topic Start


Joe Jiko Having sex doesn't mean you're cheating. As soon as someone else is more important than your partner, that's real cheating. Sex is just an activity.

Alli Ohmes And so as long as who you're having sex with means nothing to you, it's not cheating on your significant other?

Joe Jiko You got it @alli

Alli Ohmes Wow. I'm glad there's decent men out there that don't feel that way. That's kinda fucked up

Note: “That’s kinda fucked up” has no meaning whatsoever. I try to dig deeper into her thought process.

Joe Jiko How is it? Does it affect you if another person has sex with someone else? It's a physical activity with no lasting effects.. Also, don't assume because I don't believe in "physical cheating" rules that I practice them. open your mind and withhold your judgment.. If you're able.

Note: Alli mentions it later, but here I’m obviously assuming there are no outside variables such as pregnancy or STDs.

Bobby Hayslett No lasting effects to you. some of us only make love to ones we care for and only them

Note: I don’t even know why this guy bothers talking. What does saying that “some” people “make love” to only the people they care about have to do with the discussion that sex has no negative or lasting effects? Vague, generic, and.. irrelevant. Also, I’d like to point out that sex is a physical activity whereas love is an emotional response. The two are generally associated but aren’t necessarily directly related. For example, it’s possible to love someone and NOT have sex with them OR to have sex with someone and NOT love them which renders this argument invalid.

Joe Jiko But who's to say my way is "less decent" than your way?

Bobby Hayslett Morals do

Joe Jiko My morals or yours? do you think everyone feels exactly as you do? Do you think they will in 100 years? Morals change with the times. The reality is, there is no right or wrong especially if what you're doing has no negative effect on outside parties. And FYI, I've been with the same girl for over a year and have only "made love" to her. So be careful who you're calling the bad guy.

Bobby Hayslett Cheating has plenty if negative effects. You practice too much of what you preach and have blinded yourself of trueness of the heart

Note: This guy isn’t really contributing but I left him in here anyway.

Joe Jiko I've done no such thing. Nice try though. If you have a closed mind, there's no purpose in trying to explain life to you.

Note: In retrospect, I should’ve just ignored him.

Alli Ohmes I never said you do practice them, just that what you said is kinda fucked up, in my views and obviously others. Having sex with someone shouldn't come as easy as people think now. Just having sex with someone you don't give a shit about is wrong to me, and that doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them.

Note: Using other people’s views as a defense of your own does NOT count as supporting evidence. Why do other people have that view? Why do you share other peoples' views?

She states that “having sex with someone shouldn’t come as easy as people think”, that’s a generic statement with no meaning whatsoever. Is she assuming that people think that way? Why is she citing hypothetical thoughts of other people in opposite defense of her own?

“Just having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about is wrong to me”
Finally! She’s actually using her own view! OK! You think having emotionally detached sex is wrong.. but why? There are still no reasons..

“Doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them”
Ahh! Does everyone make the same commitment? Aren’t all relationships unique? Should there be rules and restrictions? Why?

Joe Jiko Why is it wrong? Because somebody taught you so? Do you ever think about the things you believe or do you follow along thoughtlessly?

Bobby Hayslett If joe has been with a girl for a year and hasent had sex with other girls then why is he saying this? It's making no sense and its contradicting

Note: I choose not to answer him, but at least he’s thinking. I’ve been with one person for a year and I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. This is purely a coincidence! If it ever happens that I want to engage in sex with someone other than the person I’m in a titled relationship with.. I will. Why should there be unnecessary restrictions? I truly believe that restricting a person’s life is unhealthy and ultimately leads to increased discontent or unhappiness. The exception would be restricting a person from performing actions that affect others negatively.. such as murder. I could understand if my actions had a negative effect.. but if reasonable steps are taken to ensure that both parties are clear of STDs and there’s no pregnancy (which arguably would still not affect a 3rd party), there should be none!

Alli Ohmes Sex does have lasting effects as well, there's stds and unwanted pregnancies, which both wouldn't be as big a deal if you're with someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck. And it causes chemicals in the brain to be released making you feel a bond with who you've fucked and all kinds of other shit.

Note: Riiiiiight chemicals in the brain. The same ones that occur with every emotion? Stress? Anger? Similar to the ones that occur with medicine, drugs, food, alcohol, and any other chemical intake. Those emotions may provoke a reaction, but free will gives us the ability to deny the default action. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Just because you feel amorous (temporarily) doesn’t mean the feeling is going to stick around. I think I’ve already touched on the STDs/pregnancy stem.

“someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck”
I’d like to point out that NOWHERE did I mention fucking anyone I didn’t trust.

Alli Ohmes I do think about things, I don't just follow along thoughtlessly. That's why I'm part of a very small percentage of teenagers who doesn't believe sex should just be with anyone because you're turned on or think that they are hot; there's much more to it.

Joe Jiko There's actually not more to it. Sex is for reproduction.. Nothing else.

Alli Ohmes Then why do it without trying to reproduce? Why are there condoms and birth control? You ever think it could be about making the person you love feel good? But that would require knowing who you're in.

Note: I should’ve said “reproduction, recreation, and exercise”.

“That would require knowing who you’re in”
Again, not sure why she thinks I’m talking about anonymous sex when it’s never mentioned.

Joe Jiko „@alli i'm out of time to reply :/ if you'd like to continue this conversation feel free to message me.

Topic End

Please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments.

Discussion on the Definition of Cheating (and analysis)

Topic Start


Joe Jiko Having sex doesn't mean you're cheating. As soon as someone else is more important than your partner, that's real cheating. Sex is just an activity.

Alli Ohmes And so as long as who you're having sex with means nothing to you, it's not cheating on your significant other?

Joe Jiko You got it Alli

Alli Ohmes Wow. I'm glad there's decent men out there that don't feel that way. That's kinda fucked up

Note: “That’s kinda fucked up” has no meaning whatsoever. I try to dig deeper into her thought process.

Joe Jiko How is it? Does it affect you if another person has sex with someone else? It's a physical activity with no lasting effects.. Also, don't assume because I don't believe in "physical cheating" rules that I practice them. open your mind and withhold your judgment.. If you're able.

Note: Alli mentions it later, but here I’m obviously assuming there are no outside variables such as pregnancy or STDs.

Bobby Hayslett No lasting effects to you. some of us only make love to ones we care for and only them

Note: I don’t even know why this guy bothers talking. What does saying that “some” people “make love” to only the people they care about have to do with the discussion that sex has no negative or lasting effects? Vague, generic, and.. irrelevant. Also, I’d like to point out that sex is a physical activity whereas love is an emotional response. The two are generally associated but aren’t necessarily directly related. For example, it’s possible to love someone and NOT have sex with them OR to have sex with someone and NOT love them which renders this argument invalid.

Joe Jiko But who's to say my way is "less decent" than your way?

Bobby Hayslett Morals do

Joe Jiko My morals or yours? do you think everyone feels exactly as you do? Do you think they will in 100 years? Morals change with the times. The reality is, there is no right or wrong especially if what you're doing has no negative effect on outside parties. And FYI, I've been with the same girl for over a year and have only "made love" to her. So be careful who you're calling the bad guy.

Bobby Hayslett Cheating has plenty if negative effects. You practice too much of what you preach and have blinded yourself of trueness of the heart

Note: This guy isn’t really contributing but I left him in here anyway.

Joe Jiko I've done no such thing. Nice try though. If you have a closed mind, there's no purpose in trying to explain life to you.

Note: In retrospect, I should’ve just ignored him.

Alli Ohmes I never said you do practice them, just that what you said is kinda fucked up, in my views and obviously others. Having sex with someone shouldn't come as easy as people think now. Just having sex with someone you don't give a shit about is wrong to me, and that doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them.

Note: Using other people’s views as a defense of your own does NOT count as supporting evidence. Why do other people have that view? Why do you share other peoples' views?

She states that “having sex with someone shouldn’t come as easy as people think”, that’s a generic statement with no meaning whatsoever. Is she assuming that people think that way? Why is she citing hypothetical thoughts of other people in opposite defense of her own?

“Just having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about is wrong to me”
Finally! She’s actually using her own view! OK! You think having emotionally detached sex is wrong.. but why? There are still no reasons..

“Doubles if you have made a commitment to someone else to be with them”
Ahh! Does everyone make the same commitment? Aren’t all relationships unique? Should there be rules and restrictions? Why?

Joe Jiko Why is it wrong? Because somebody taught you so? Do you ever think about the things you believe or do you follow along thoughtlessly?

Bobby Hayslett If joe has been with a girl for a year and hasent had sex with other girls then why is he saying this? It's making no sense and its contradicting

Note: I choose not to answer him, but at least he’s thinking. I’ve been with one person for a year and I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. This is purely a coincidence! If it ever happens that I want to engage in sex with someone other than the person I’m in a titled relationship with.. I will. Why should there be unnecessary restrictions? I truly believe that restricting a person’s life is unhealthy and ultimately leads to increased discontent or unhappiness. The exception would be restricting a person from performing actions that affect others negatively.. such as murder. I could understand if my actions had a negative effect.. but if reasonable steps are taken to ensure that both parties are clear of STDs and there’s no pregnancy (which arguably would still not affect a 3rd party), there should be none!

Alli Ohmes Sex does have lasting effects as well, there's stds and unwanted pregnancies, which both wouldn't be as big a deal if you're with someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck. And it causes chemicals in the brain to be released making you feel a bond with who you've fucked and all kinds of other shit.

Note: Riiiiiight chemicals in the brain. The same ones that occur with every emotion? Stress? Anger? Similar to the ones that occur with medicine, drugs, food, alcohol, and any other chemical intake. Those emotions may provoke a reaction, but free will gives us the ability to deny the default action. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Just because you feel amorous (temporarily) doesn’t mean the feeling is going to stick around. I think I’ve already touched on the STDs/pregnancy stem.

“someone you learned to trust before trying to fuck”
I’d like to point out that NOWHERE did I mention fucking anyone I didn’t trust.

Alli Ohmes I do think about things, I don't just follow along thoughtlessly. That's why I'm part of a very small percentage of teenagers who doesn't believe sex should just be with anyone because you're turned on or think that they are hot; there's much more to it.

Joe Jiko There's actually not more to it. Sex is for reproduction.. Nothing else.

Alli Ohmes Then why do it without trying to reproduce? Why are there condoms and birth control? You ever think it could be about making the person you love feel good? But that would require knowing who you're in.

Note: I should’ve said “reproduction, recreation, and exercise”.

“That would require knowing who you’re in”
Again, not sure why she thinks I’m talking about anonymous sex when it’s never mentioned.

Joe Jiko „@alli i'm out of time to reply :/ if you'd like to continue this conversation feel free to message me.

Topic End

Please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments.

Can I ask you a crazy question?

Romina: can i ask you a crazy question?!
Joe: of course
Joe: it's probably not as crazy as you think
Romina: if you were a multimillionaire would you want to settle down? and if you did would you go for a normal girl?
Romina: no to both right?
Joe: i'm already not a multimillionaire and don't go for normal girls
Romina: hahahaha
Joe: and define settle down
Romina: like idk? date?
Romina: in a commited relationship
Joe: i'd set up a central base but i'd still do plenty of things
Joe: i'm in hundreds of committed relationships already
Romina: hahahah
Joe: i doubt that would change :P
Romina: hahahahahaha
Romina: you're too uncommon!
Romina: =P
Joe: yeah ;]
Joe: i'd probably move to another country that isn't so retarded
Joe: where the women aren't full of ego or obsessed with themselves
Romina: thats true
Joe: where people want to learn and be better versions of themselves
Joe: and being educated is sought after and rewarded
Romina: lol really little of that is ever found
Joe: ok then
Joe: i'll settle for somewhere that 60% of the population isn't obese and jobless :P
Joe: with mountains and fast internet
Romina: hahahahahahahhahaha

The chance system

I'm curious to find out why people seem to assume there's always a second chance.

There isn't.

In fact, sometimes you don't even get ONE chance.

Your life is a single chance.
Every choice you make is a chance.
Every breath you take..

Simple enough, right?

If someone was willing to take a risk on you and give you a chance, you should be walking on eggshells to make sure you don't fuck it up.

The USCB estimates that the world population exceeded 7 billion on March 12, 2012.
That means if I gave every person 1 chance.. that would be 7 billion chances.

Unfortunately, I have a "chance giving" quota.
(It's very similar to my "fucks given" quota)

That means not all of you are going to get a single chance.
Actually.. almost none of you will.

These days there's a chance shortage.
So if you're one of the lucky few..

Don't fuck it up.

PS, I don't know who the fuck the USCB. I found that stat on Google.

The chance system

I'm curious to find out why people seem to assume there's always a second chance.

There isn't.

In fact, sometimes you don't even get ONE chance.

Your life is a single chance.
Every choice you make is a chance.
Every breath you take..

Simple enough, right?

If someone was willing to take a risk on you and give you a chance, you should be walking on eggshells to make sure you don't fuck it up.

The USCB estimates that the world population exceeded 7 billion on March 12, 2012.
That means if I gave every person 1 chance.. that would be 7 billion chances.

Unfortunately, I have a "chance giving" quota.
(It's very similar to my "fucks given" quota)

That means not all of you are going to get a single chance.
Actually.. almost none of you will.

These days there's chance shortage.
So if you're one of the lucky few..

Don't fuck it up.

PS, I don't know who the fuck the USCB. I found that stat on Google.

The chance system

I'm curious to find out why people seem to assume there's always a second chance.

There isn't.

In fact, sometimes you don't even get ONE chance.

Your life is a single chance.
Every choice you make is a chance.
Every breath you take..

Simple enough, right?

If someone was willing to take a risk on you and give you a chance, you should be walking on eggshells to make sure you don't fuck it up.

The USCB estimates that the world population exceeded 7 billion on March 12, 2012.
That means if I gave every person 1 chance.. that would be 7 billion chances.

Unfortunately, I have a "chance giving" quota.
(It's very similar to my "fucks given" quota)

That means not all of you are going to get a single chance.
Actually.. almost none of you will.

These days there's chance shortage.
So if you're one of the lucky few..

Don't fuck it up.

PS, I don't know who the fuck the USCB. I found that stat on Google.

Relationships. Friendship & love.

Introduction

“You didn't seem like a relationship kind of guy so I never really brought it up or pushed it or anything.”


Every person you've ever met before and every person you haven’t met before, all have a relationship to you. “Stranger” is a relationship. I get asked the same questions over and over again by people seeking my friendship, my business, my time, or my heart. I'm a very guarded person. I have a complicated mind, trust issues, and a solitary heart. I enjoy talking to people, but I almost never let them close to me. If you want to get close to me, as a lover or a friend, I hope you have a lot of patience, and I suggest you read this very carefully. Be aware that the categories are in no logical order.

The Basics

I find you attractive but I don't want you.

“Yeah I think you’re cute but I just came to say hello”


I'm a friendly, flirty person. Why? Because it's fun. That does not mean that I want anything from you. There's a very high chance that I have absolutely no interest in anything but friendship from you, if that. I like knowing people & I like friends. I like social experiments. People’s lives and interests are so unpredictable and fascinating. Every person’s life and experiences are unique & I want to continue to grow as a person. By observing the experiences, opinions, thoughts, behaviours, and views of other people, I can absorb new ideas and continue to grow in my personal philosophy. You may be beautiful, but if your personality doesn't match, then what use are you? Beauty fades, but your personality will hold you up forever.

I probably care about you more than you know.

I may not always let on how much I care about you. Trust and feelings develop over time. That one time when you need me the most, I will be there. When you're upset and you need someone who will listen, that's me. I enjoy making other people happy. Everyone has something tragic about their life. We're all struggling and have stresses. We're all living life together, shouldn't we help each other through it?

Your boyfriend doesn't matter to me: if I want you, I will have you.


Boyfriend/girlfriend is a temporary title. Temporary relationships are used to find the person you're most compatible with. If I meet someone who interests me, it won't matter what their relationship status is. Even if that means being nothing more than friends until their other relationship ends. Nobody can foresee the future. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.

Sometimes there are no answers

I trust my feelings. I may not always know why I like someone, but my feelings are almost always right about people. Trying to translate a feeling into words is one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks. I've noticed that people always want to know why you feel a certain way. Well, I can try to describe it using adjectives, but they always seem to sound diluted. A feeling is something that can be seen in ways other than words. I say this all the time: if I like you, you'll know about it.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're dumb!

Some people will think that’s kind of harsh, but I'm an intelligent person. Dumb people irritate me. It's not an issue of arrogance or patience, I get frustrated when I try to explain myself and somebody can’t comprehend it. I want someone who can pay attention when I'm talking, can hold a conversation, and provide a valid response. Okay, I'm not going to discriminate against anyone for not being as “smart” as I am, but I'm not going to date them either.

Do what you say you're going to do.

The quickest way to irritate me is to not follow through on the things you say. It's really simple. If you absolutely can't make good on your plans with me, show me some courtesy and let me know about it ahead of time! It's really disappointing how many people can't get such a simple concept. If I can't trust you, we're not friends.

You need to calm down

I can't stand hot tempers, violence, drama, repeating myself, control freaks, druggies, idiots, people who don't know how to listen, vengefulness, and jealousy. You can talk through anything with me,  there's no reason to lose control of yourself. I will never seek to harm you in any way.

Don't ignore me

If you've got a problem with me, what should you do? Talk about it! You ever think, maybe, I have no idea that I've done something wrong? Even if we can't resolve it with one conversation, we can keep trying until we get it. There's always a solution. I'm willing to figure it out, are you?

Don't turn things around on me

If I confront you on something, don't try to accuse me of something else. You can bring it up after we've resolved my problem. If you wanted to bring something up, you should have done it before.

Here's an example of common issue:

Me: “How come you don't talk to me anymore?”


You: “You don't text me!”


Me: “I just did.”


Leave out all the excuses.

If you don't want to do something, just say you don't want to. There's always a way to accomplish the things you want to do. If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

Anything you want to say that's longer than 3 text messages should be made into a phone call.

Seriously, I can't stand text conversations. I don't want to have an intense conversation that's dragged out for 3 days through text messages when it could have been resolved in 30 minutes on the phone.

Don't expect it to be easy to be my girlfriend.

If I've known you for a week, I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend! I'm opposed to the stereotype attached with the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, and, therefor, heavily avoid giving the title away. There are girls who can't go a week without having a boyfriend. They're single for a week so they talk to all the guys they can until one of them “takes them off the market”. If you're important to me, you're going to know about it. If you want me, you'll make yourself available. I'm not going to chase after you. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to put more effort into my relationship with you than you're willing to give back to me.

I'm not going to touch you in public.

Our relationship is nobody else's business. It's rude to be excessively physical with someone in public. It's annoying when I see people doing it, so I'm sure it's just as annoying to somebody else watching me. Does that mean I won't kiss you in public? No. I'm not shy, I just won't be excessive about it. We can still hold hands. That's cute.

Say my name when you talk about me.

I'm not “baby”, or “boyfriend”, or “my love”, or whatever pet name you conjure up. It's annoying to see people say things like “with boyfrienddd” or “at baby's”. I have a name, use it. Thanks.

Don't abandon me. Don't give up on me.

I know I'm difficult to understand sometimes. I know I'm not always going to say the right things. Is that an excuse for you to drop me as a friend? Really? I never understood how people could do that. It hurts me to lose anyone who I've shared a part of my life with. I don't want to feel like all the time I've spent with you has been a waste. Yeah, times aren't always going to be good. But you can still remember that we had good times, right? Why would you suddenly tell me that I mean nothing to you or that you never want to talk to me again? I know I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve that.

I'm not too good for you.

This is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. It's depressing how common of a response it is. What makes you think I'm any better than you are? Who are you to tell me something like that? If I want you, that's my choice. You don't have to understand why.

I only want one person

If I like/love someone a lot, I'm not going to be interested in anyone else. You may not have the title of “girlfriend” but you're the only person that I want. If I stop wanting you, our relationship is over anyway and it's probably something you have no control over.

Jealousy is not cute.

If I choose to be in a relationship with you, you're ahead of every single other person in my life. It doesn't matter if I talk to a thousand pretty girls. You're the one who has me. You're the one who I want. Lose the jealousy. There's no need for it.

Cheating is not what you think it is.

If we're “dating” and you fuck someone else, as long as you tell me about it and you don't give me STDs, I really don't care. “Cheating” a relationship shouldn't be a physical thing. If I have a mutual agreement with someone to be in a relationship with them, it should mean that I'm the most important person in their life. That's not to say the only important person, because I think everyone should have more than one important person or friend in their life. That being said, if you intentionally go out and fuck random people, chances are you aren't that into me anyway. In which case, you've cheated our relationship. As soon as you start giving someone else more priority than the person who you say is the most important in your life, the relationship is over. The minute you lie to me, our relationship is over.

Lying is unacceptable.

If I ask you about something and you choose to lie to me, the moment I find out you lied, our relationship is over. There shouldn't be anything you can't tell me. I'm not judgemental or unreasonable. I have an open mind & an open heart. Try me.

Chivalry is dead

Don't wait for me to do everything. If you don't tell me you like me, how am I supposed to know that you do? Yeah, I'm good at reading people. Yeah, I probably know that you like me. But what if I don't know? It shouldn't be “the guy's job” to talk to you all the time. If you want to talk to me, you should do it! If you want to see me, make plans! If you're expecting me to “take care of you”, think again. I may decide to be nice-take you out to dinner, buy you something I think you'd like, call you when you're upset-but it might not happen all the time.

I'm not going to work all day while you stay at home doing nothing.

I'm not traditional. I don't think women should have set tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. If I ever got married, I would want my spouse to have interests, opinions, passions, and a career. I can cook. I can clean. I can do my own laundry. It's impressive to me when someone is independent, organized, talented, and responsible.

Sex is not a currency

I'm not going to do things for you so that you'll fuck me. It should be mutual. You can't control me that way, and it's insulting to me if you even think you can try it.

Love and sex

The two topics should never be grouped together. Sex is a physical instinct that all living things share. Even plants have sex. It's a healthy activity and good exercise. It can bring you closer to someone, but it is entirely unnecessary in a relationship. I may agree that when you love someone, or care about them, you will want to have sex with them. That may be; However, I also believe the desire to have sex with a lover comes from wanting to be as close to that person as possible.

Marriage

I'm going to get married someday, but right now? I'm not even thinking about it. I refuse to rush into something that is supposed to last forever. Ask me again in 6 years when my life is stable and I might just consider it.

Children?

I don't intend to ever create any of my own. Actually, I'm prepared to get a vasectomy sometime in the near future. I think it would be amazing to have my own children, but I also believe there are too many people having children. Our world is only so big, our resources are limited. Not everyone is as responsible as I am and I can't make decisions for them. However, I can make decisions for myself. I can choose to not create any children, but save the ones who have been abandoned. There are enough children in the world looking for a home, and when I'm ready, I would like to give someone a home

--- Unorganized topics/thoughts
long absences don’t change us - relationship on hold/suspended temporarily
start conversations with purpose
leave me alone when I’m sick
leave me to my projects
repetitive actions devoid of meaning and expectations
opinions of friends
praising mediocrity
fishing for compliments
passive agressive

Relationships. Friendship & love.

Relationships. Friendship & Love. (by Joe Jiko)

Introduction

“You didn't seem like a relationship kind of guy so I never really brought it up or pushed it or anything.”



Every person you've ever met before and every person you haven’t met before, all have a relationship to you. “Stranger” is a relationship. I get asked the same questions over and over again by people seeking my friendship, my business, my time, or my heart. I'm a very guarded person. I have a complicated mind, trust issues, and a solitary heart. I enjoy talking to people, but I almost never let them close to me. If you want to get close to me, as a lover or a friend, I hope you have a lot of patience, and I suggest you read this very carefully. Be aware that the categories are in no logical order.

The Basics

I find you attractive but I don't want you.

 

“Yeah I think you’re cute but I just came to say hello”



I'm a friendly, flirty person. Why? Because it's fun. That does not mean that I want anything from you. There's a very high chance that I have absolutely no interest in anything but friendship from you, if that. I like knowing people & I like friends. I like social experiments. People’s lives and interests are so unpredictable and fascinating. Every person’s life and experiences are unique & I want to continue to grow as a person. By observing the experiences, opinions, thoughts, behaviours, and views of other people, I can absorb new mental stimuli and continue to grow in my personal philosophy. You may be beautiful, but if your personality doesn't match, than what use are you? Beauty fades, but your personality will hold you up forever.

I probably care about you more than you know.

I may not always let on how much I care about you. Trust and feelings develop over time. That one time when you need me the most, I will be there. When you're upset and you need someone who will listen, that's me. I enjoy making other people happy. Everyone has something tragic about their life. We're all struggling and have stresses. We're all living life together, shouldn't we help each other through it?

Your boyfriend doesn't matter to me: if I want you, I will have you.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is a temporary title. Temporary relationships are used to find the person you're most compatible with. If I meet someone who interests me, it won't matter what their relationship status is. Even if that means being nothing more than friends until their other relationship ends. Nobody can foresee the future. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.

Sometimes there are no answers

I trust my feelings. I may not always know why I like someone, but my feelings are almost always right about people. Trying to translate a feeling into words is one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks. I've noticed that people always want to know why you feel a certain way. Well, I can try to describe it using adjectives, but they always seem to sound diluted. A feeling is something that can be seen in ways other than words. I say this all the time: if I like you, you'll know about it.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're dumb!

Some people will think that’s kind of harsh, but I'm an intelligent person. Dumb people irritate me. It's not an issue of arrogance or patience, I get frustrated when I try to explain myself and somebody can’t comprehend it. I want someone who can pay attention when I'm talking, can hold a conversation, and provide a valid response. Okay, I'm not going to discriminate against anyone for not being as “smart” as I am, but I'm not going to date them either.

Do what you say you're going to do.

The quickest way to irritate me is to not follow through on the things you say. It's really simple. If you absolutely can't make good on your plans with me, show me some courtesy and let me know about it ahead of time! It's really disappointing how many people can't get such a simple concept. If I can't trust you, we're not friends.

You need to calm down

I can't stand hot tempers, violence, drama, repeating myself, control freaks, druggies, idiots, people who don't know how to listen, vengefulness, and jealousy. You can talk through anything with me,  there's no reason to lose control of yourself. I will never seek to harm you in any way.

Don't ignore me

If you've got a problem with me, what should you do? Talk about it! You ever think, maybe, I have no idea that I've done something wrong? Even if we can't resolve it with one conversation, we can keep trying until we get it. There's always a solution. I'm willing to figure it out, are you?

Don't turn things around on me

If I confront you on something, don't try to accuse me of something else. You can bring it up after we've resolved my problem. If you wanted to bring something up, you should have done it before.

Here's an example of common issue:

Me: “How come you don't talk to me anymore?”


You: “You don't text me!”


Me: “I just did.”



Leave out all the excuses.


If you don't want to do something, just say you don't want to. There's always a way to accomplish the things you want to do. If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

Anything you want to say that's longer than 3 text messages should be made into a phone call.

Seriously, I can't stand text conversations. I don't want to have an intense conversation that's dragged out for 3 days through text messages when it could have been resolved in 30 minutes on the phone.

Don't expect it to be easy to be my girlfriend.

If I've known you for a week, I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend! I'm opposed to the stereotype attached with the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, and, therefor, heavily avoid giving the title away. There are girls who can't go a week without having a boyfriend. They're single for a week so they talk to all the guys they can until one of them “takes them off the market”. If you're important to me, you're going to know about it. If you want me, you'll make yourself available. I'm not going to chase after you. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to put more effort into my relationship with you than you're willing to give back to me.

I'm not going to touch you in public.

Our relationship is nobody else's business. It's rude to be excessively physical with someone in public. It's annoying when I see people doing it, so I'm sure it's just as annoying to somebody else watching me. Does that mean I won't kiss you in public? No. I'm not shy, I just won't be excessive about it. We can still hold hands. That's cute.

Say my name when you talk about me.

I'm not “baby”, or “boyfriend”, or “my love”, or whatever pet name you conjure up. It's annoying to see people say things like “with boyfrienddd” or “at baby's”. I have a name, use it. Thanks.

Don't abandon me. Don't give up on me.

I know I'm difficult to understand sometimes. I know I'm not always going to say the right things. Is that an excuse for you to drop me as a friend? Really? I never understood how people could do that. It hurts me to lose anyone who I've shared a part of my life with. I don't want to feel like all the time I've spent with you has been a waste. Yeah, times aren't always going to be good. But you can still remember that we had good times, right? Why would you suddenly tell me that I mean nothing to you or that you never want to talk to me again? I know I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve that.

I'm not too good for you.

This is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. It's depressing how common of a response it is. What makes you think I'm any better than you are? Who are you to tell me something like that? If I want you, that's my choice. You don't have to understand why.

I only want one person

If I like/love someone a lot, I'm not going to be interested in anyone else. You may not have the title of “girlfriend” but you're the only person that I want. If I stop wanting you, our relationship is over anyway and it's probably something you have no control over.

Jealousy is not cute.

If I choose to be in a relationship with you, you're ahead of every single other person in my life. It doesn't matter if I talk to a thousand pretty girls. You're the one who has me. You're the one who I want. Lose the jealousy. There's no need for it.

Cheating is not what you think it is.

If we're “dating” and you fuck someone else, as long as you tell me about it and you don't give me STDs, I really don't care. “Cheating” a relationship shouldn't be a physical thing. If I have a mutual agreement with someone to be in a relationship with them, it should mean that I'm the most important person in their life. That's not to say the only important person, because I think everyone should have more than one important person or friend in their life. That being said, if you intentionally go out and fuck random people, chances are you aren't that into me anyway. In which case, you've cheated our relationship. As soon as you start giving someone else more priority than the person who you say is the most important in your life, the relationship is over. The minute you lie to me, our relationship is over.

Lying is unacceptable.

If I ask you about something and you choose to lie to me, the moment I find out you lied, our relationship is over. There shouldn't be anything you can't tell me. I'm not judgemental or unreasonable. I have an open mind & an open heart. Try me.

Chivalry is dead

Don't wait for me to do everything. If you don't tell me you like me, how am I supposed to know that you do? Yeah, I'm good at reading people. Yeah, I probably know that you like me. But what if I don't know? It shouldn't be “the guy's job” to talk to you all the time. If you want to talk to me, you should do it! If you want to see me, make plans! If you're expecting me to “take care of you”, think again. I may decide to be nice-take you out to dinner, buy you something I think you'd like, call you when you're upset-but it might not happen all the time.

I'm not going to work all day while you stay at home doing nothing.

I'm not traditional. I don't think women should have set tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. If I ever got married, I would want my spouse to have interests, opinions, passions, and a career. I can cook. I can clean. I can do my own laundry. It's impressive to me when someone is independent, organized, talented, and responsible.

Sex is not a currency

I'm not going to do things for you so that you'll fuck me. It should be mutual. You can't control me that way, and it's insulting to me if you even think you can try it.

Love and sex

The two topics should never be grouped together. Sex is a physical instinct that all living things share. Even plants have sex. It's a healthy activity and good exercise. It can bring you closer to someone, but it is entirely unnecessary in a relationship. I may agree that when you love someone, or care about them, you will want to have sex with them. That may be; However, I also believe the desire to have sex with a lover comes from wanting to be as close to that person as possible.

Marriage

I'm going to get married someday, but right now? I'm not even thinking about it. I refuse to rush into something that is supposed to last forever. Ask me again in 6 years when my life is stable and I might just consider it.

Children?

I don't intend to ever create any of my own. Actually, I'm prepared to get a vasectomy sometime in the near future. I think it would be amazing to have my own children, but I also believe there are too many people having children. Our world is only so big, our resources are limited. Not everyone is as responsible as I am and I can't make decisions for them. However, I can make decisions for myself. I can choose to not create any children, but save the ones who have been abandoned. There are enough children in the world looking for a home, and when I'm ready, I would like to give someone a home

--- Unorganized topics/thoughts
long absences don’t change us - relationship on hold/suspended temporarily
start conversations with purpose
leave me alone when I’m sick
leave me to my projects
repetitive actions devoid of meaning and expectations
opinions of friends
praising mediocrity
fishing for compliments
passive agressive

Relationships. Friendship & love.

Introduction

“You didn't seem like a relationship kind of guy so I never really brought it up or pushed it or anything.”



Every person you've ever met before and every person you haven’t met before, all have a relationship to you. “Stranger” is a relationship. I get asked the same questions over and over again by people seeking my friendship, my business, my time, or my heart. I'm a very guarded person. I have a complicated mind, trust issues, and a solitary heart. I enjoy talking to people, but I almost never let them close to me. If you want to get close to me, as a lover or a friend, I hope you have a lot of patience, and I suggest you read this very carefully. Be aware that the categories are in no logical order.

The Basics

I find you attractive but I don't want you.

 

“Yeah I think you’re cute but I just came to say hello”



I'm a friendly, flirty person. Why? Because it's fun. That does not mean that I want anything from you. There's a very high chance that I have absolutely no interest in anything but friendship from you, if that. I like knowing people & I like friends. I like social experiments. People’s lives and interests are so unpredictable and fascinating. Every person’s life and experiences are unique & I want to continue to grow as a person. By observing the experiences, opinions, thoughts, behaviours, and views of other people, I can absorb new mental stimuli and continue to grow in my personal philosophy. You may be beautiful, but if your personality doesn't match, than what use are you? Beauty fades, but your personality will hold you up forever.

I probably care about you more than you know.

I may not always let on how much I care about you. Trust and feelings develop over time. That one time when you need me the most, I will be there. When you're upset and you need someone who will listen, that's me. I enjoy making other people happy. Everyone has something tragic about their life. We're all struggling and have stresses. We're all living life together, shouldn't we help each other through it?

Your boyfriend doesn't matter to me: if I want you, I will have you.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is a temporary title. Temporary relationships are used to find the person you're most compatible with. If I meet someone who interests me, it won't matter what their relationship status is. Even if that means being nothing more than friends until their other relationship ends. Nobody can foresee the future. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.

Sometimes there are no answers

I trust my feelings. I may not always know why I like someone, but my feelings are almost always right about people. Trying to translate a feeling into words is one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks. I've noticed that people always want to know why you feel a certain way. Well, I can try to describe it using adjectives, but they always seem to sound diluted. A feeling is something that can be seen in ways other than words. I say this all the time: if I like you, you'll know about it.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're dumb!

Some people will think that’s kind of harsh, but I'm an intelligent person. Dumb people irritate me. It's not an issue of arrogance or patience, I get frustrated when I try to explain myself and somebody can’t comprehend it. I want someone who can pay attention when I'm talking, can hold a conversation, and provide a valid response. Okay, I'm not going to discriminate against anyone for not being as “smart” as I am, but I'm not going to date them either.

Do what you say you're going to do.

The quickest way to irritate me is to not follow through on the things you say. It's really simple. If you absolutely can't make good on your plans with me, show me some courtesy and let me know about it ahead of time! It's really disappointing how many people can't get such a simple concept. If I can't trust you, we're not friends.

You need to calm down

I can't stand hot tempers, violence, drama, repeating myself, control freaks, druggies, idiots, people who don't know how to listen, vengefulness, and jealousy. You can talk through anything with me,  there's no reason to lose control of yourself. I will never seek to harm you in any way.

Don't ignore me

If you've got a problem with me, what should you do? Talk about it! You ever think, maybe, I have no idea that I've done something wrong? Even if we can't resolve it with one conversation, we can keep trying until we get it. There's always a solution. I'm willing to figure it out, are you?

Don't turn things around on me

If I confront you on something, don't try to accuse me of something else. You can bring it up after we've resolved my problem. If you wanted to bring something up, you should have done it before.

Here's an example of common issue:

Me: “How come you don't talk to me anymore?”


You: “You don't text me!”


Me: “I just did.”



Leave out all the excuses.


If you don't want to do something, just say you don't want to. There's always a way to accomplish the things you want to do. If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

Anything you want to say that's longer than 3 text messages should be made into a phone call.

Seriously, I can't stand text conversations. I don't want to have an intense conversation that's dragged out for 3 days through text messages when it could have been resolved in 30 minutes on the phone.

Don't expect it to be easy to be my girlfriend.

If I've known you for a week, I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend! I'm opposed to the stereotype attached with the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, and, therefor, heavily avoid giving the title away. There are girls who can't go a week without having a boyfriend. They're single for a week so they talk to all the guys they can until one of them “takes them off the market”. If you're important to me, you're going to know about it. If you want me, you'll make yourself available. I'm not going to chase after you. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to put more effort into my relationship with you than you're willing to give back to me.

I'm not going to touch you in public.

Our relationship is nobody else's business. It's rude to be excessively physical with someone in public. It's annoying when I see people doing it, so I'm sure it's just as annoying to somebody else watching me. Does that mean I won't kiss you in public? No. I'm not shy, I just won't be excessive about it. We can still hold hands. That's cute.

Say my name when you talk about me.

I'm not “baby”, or “boyfriend”, or “my love”, or whatever pet name you conjure up. It's annoying to see people say things like “with boyfrienddd” or “at baby's”. I have a name, use it. Thanks.

Don't abandon me. Don't give up on me.

I know I'm difficult to understand sometimes. I know I'm not always going to say the right things. Is that an excuse for you to drop me as a friend? Really? I never understood how people could do that. It hurts me to lose anyone who I've shared a part of my life with. I don't want to feel like all the time I've spent with you has been a waste. Yeah, times aren't always going to be good. But you can still remember that we had good times, right? Why would you suddenly tell me that I mean nothing to you or that you never want to talk to me again? I know I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve that.

I'm not too good for you.

This is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. It's depressing how common of a response it is. What makes you think I'm any better than you are? Who are you to tell me something like that? If I want you, that's my choice. You don't have to understand why.

I only want one person

If I like/love someone a lot, I'm not going to be interested in anyone else. You may not have the title of “girlfriend” but you're the only person that I want. If I stop wanting you, our relationship is over anyway and it's probably something you have no control over.

Jealousy is not cute.

If I choose to be in a relationship with you, you're ahead of every single other person in my life. It doesn't matter if I talk to a thousand pretty girls. You're the one who has me. You're the one who I want. Lose the jealousy. There's no need for it.

Cheating is not what you think it is.

If we're “dating” and you fuck someone else, as long as you tell me about it and you don't give me STDs, I really don't care. “Cheating” a relationship shouldn't be a physical thing. If I have a mutual agreement with someone to be in a relationship with them, it should mean that I'm the most important person in their life. That's not to say the only important person, because I think everyone should have more than one important person or friend in their life. That being said, if you intentionally go out and fuck random people, chances are you aren't that into me anyway. In which case, you've cheated our relationship. As soon as you start giving someone else more priority than the person who you say is the most important in your life, the relationship is over. The minute you lie to me, our relationship is over.

Lying is unacceptable.

If I ask you about something and you choose to lie to me, the moment I find out you lied, our relationship is over. There shouldn't be anything you can't tell me. I'm not judgemental or unreasonable. I have an open mind & an open heart. Try me.

Chivalry is dead

Don't wait for me to do everything. If you don't tell me you like me, how am I supposed to know that you do? Yeah, I'm good at reading people. Yeah, I probably know that you like me. But what if I don't know? It shouldn't be “the guy's job” to talk to you all the time. If you want to talk to me, you should do it! If you want to see me, make plans! If you're expecting me to “take care of you”, think again. I may decide to be nice-take you out to dinner, buy you something I think you'd like, call you when you're upset-but it might not happen all the time.

I'm not going to work all day while you stay at home doing nothing.

I'm not traditional. I don't think women should have set tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. If I ever got married, I would want my spouse to have interests, opinions, passions, and a career. I can cook. I can clean. I can do my own laundry. It's impressive to me when someone is independent, organized, talented, and responsible.

Sex is not a currency

I'm not going to do things for you so that you'll fuck me. It should be mutual. You can't control me that way, and it's insulting to me if you even think you can try it.

Love and sex

The two topics should never be grouped together. Sex is a physical instinct that all living things share. Even plants have sex. It's a healthy activity and good exercise. It can bring you closer to someone, but it is entirely unnecessary in a relationship. I may agree that when you love someone, or care about them, you will want to have sex with them. That may be; However, I also believe the desire to have sex with a lover comes from wanting to be as close to that person as possible.

Marriage

I'm going to get married someday, but right now? I'm not even thinking about it. I refuse to rush into something that is supposed to last forever. Ask me again in 6 years when my life is stable and I might just consider it.

Children?

I don't intend to ever create any of my own. Actually, I'm prepared to get a vasectomy sometime in the near future. I think it would be amazing to have my own children, but I also believe there are too many people having children. Our world is only so big, our resources are limited. Not everyone is as responsible as I am and I can't make decisions for them. However, I can make decisions for myself. I can choose to not create any children, but save the ones who have been abandoned. There are enough children in the world looking for a home, and when I'm ready, I would like to give someone a home

--- Unorganized topics/thoughts
long absences don’t change us - relationship on hold/suspended temporarily
start conversations with purpose
leave me alone when I’m sick
leave me to my projects
repetitive actions devoid of meaning and expectations
opinions of friends
praising mediocrity
fishing for compliments
passive agressive

Relationships. Friendship & love.

Introduction

“You didn't seem like a relationship kind of guy so I never really brought it up or pushed it or anything.”


Every person you've ever met before and every person you haven’t met before, all have a relationship to you. “Stranger” is a relationship. I get asked the same questions over and over again by people seeking my friendship, my business, my time, or my heart. I'm a very guarded person. I have a complicated mind, trust issues, and a solitary heart. I enjoy talking to people, but I almost never let them close to me. If you want to get close to me, as a lover or a friend, I hope you have a lot of patience, and I suggest you read this very carefully. Be aware that the categories are in no logical order.

The Basics

I find you attractive but I don't want you.

“Yeah I think you’re cute but I just came to say hello”


I'm a friendly, flirty person. Why? Because it's fun. That does not mean that I want anything from you. There's a very high chance that I have absolutely no interest in anything but friendship from you, if that. I like knowing people & I like friends. I like social experiments. People’s lives and interests are so unpredictable and fascinating. Every person’s life and experiences are unique & I want to continue to grow as a person. By observing the experiences, opinions, thoughts, behaviours, and views of other people, I can absorb new mental stimuli and continue to grow in my personal philosophy. You may be beautiful, but if your personality doesn't match, than what use are you? Beauty fades, but your personality will hold you up forever.

I probably care about you more than you know.

I may not always let on how much I care about you. Trust and feelings develop over time. That one time when you need me the most, I will be there. When you're upset and you need someone who will listen, that's me. I enjoy making other people happy. Everyone has something tragic about their life. We're all struggling and have stresses. We're all living life together, shouldn't we help each other through it?

Your boyfriend doesn't matter to me: if I want you, I will have you.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is a temporary title. Temporary relationships are used to find the person you're most compatible with. If I meet someone who interests me, it won't matter what their relationship status is. Even if that means being nothing more than friends until their other relationship ends. Nobody can foresee the future. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.

Sometimes there are no answers

I trust my feelings. I may not always know why I like someone, but my feelings are almost always right about people. Trying to translate a feeling into words is one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks. I've noticed that people always want to know why you feel a certain way. Well, I can try to describe it using adjectives, but they always seem to sound diluted. A feeling is something that can be seen in ways other than words. I say this all the time: if I like you, you'll know about it.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're dumb!

Some people will think that’s kind of harsh, but I'm an intelligent person. Dumb people irritate me. It's not an issue of arrogance or patience, I get frustrated when I try to explain myself and somebody can’t comprehend it. I want someone who can pay attention when I'm talking, can hold a conversation, and provide a valid response. Okay, I'm not going to discriminate against anyone for not being as “smart” as I am, but I'm not going to date them either.

Do what you say you're going to do.

The quickest way to irritate me is to not follow through on the things you say. It's really simple. If you absolutely can't make good on your plans with me, show me some courtesy and let me know about it ahead of time! It's really disappointing how many people can't get such a simple concept. If I can't trust you, we're not friends.

You need to calm down

I can't stand hot tempers, violence, drama, repeating myself, control freaks, druggies, idiots, people who don't know how to listen, vengefulness, and jealousy. You can talk through anything with me,  there's no reason to lose control of yourself. I will never seek to harm you in any way.

Don't ignore me

If you've got a problem with me, what should you do? Talk about it! You ever think, maybe, I have no idea that I've done something wrong? Even if we can't resolve it with one conversation, we can keep trying until we get it. There's always a solution. I'm willing to figure it out, are you?

Don't turn things around on me

If I confront you on something, don't try to accuse me of something else. You can bring it up after we've resolved my problem. If you wanted to bring something up, you should have done it before.

Here's an example of common issue:

Me: “How come you don't talk to me anymore?”


You: “You don't text me!”


Me: “I just did.”


Leave out all the excuses.

If you don't want to do something, just say you don't want to. There's always a way to accomplish the things you want to do. If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

Anything you want to say that's longer than 3 text messages should be made into a phone call.

Seriously, I can't stand text conversations. I don't want to have an intense conversation that's dragged out for 3 days through text messages when it could have been resolved in 30 minutes on the phone.

Don't expect it to be easy to be my girlfriend.

If I've known you for a week, I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend! I'm opposed to the stereotype attached with the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, and, therefor, heavily avoid giving the title away. There are girls who can't go a week without having a boyfriend. They're single for a week so they talk to all the guys they can until one of them “takes them off the market”. If you're important to me, you're going to know about it. If you want me, you'll make yourself available. I'm not going to chase after you. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to put more effort into my relationship with you than you're willing to give back to me.

I'm not going to touch you in public.

Our relationship is nobody else's business. It's rude to be excessively physical with someone in public. It's annoying when I see people doing it, so I'm sure it's just as annoying to somebody else watching me. Does that mean I won't kiss you in public? No. I'm not shy, I just won't be excessive about it. We can still hold hands. That's cute.

Say my name when you talk about me.

I'm not “baby”, or “boyfriend”, or “my love”, or whatever pet name you conjure up. It's annoying to see people say things like “with boyfrienddd” or “at baby's”. I have a name, use it. Thanks.

Don't abandon me. Don't give up on me.

I know I'm difficult to understand sometimes. I know I'm not always going to say the right things. Is that an excuse for you to drop me as a friend? Really? I never understood how people could do that. It hurts me to lose anyone who I've shared a part of my life with. I don't want to feel like all the time I've spent with you has been a waste. Yeah, times aren't always going to be good. But you can still remember that we had good times, right? Why would you suddenly tell me that I mean nothing to you or that you never want to talk to me again? I know I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve that.

I'm not too good for you.

This is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. It's depressing how common of a response it is. What makes you think I'm any better than you are? Who are you to tell me something like that? If I want you, that's my choice. You don't have to understand why.

I only want one person

If I like/love someone a lot, I'm not going to be interested in anyone else. You may not have the title of “girlfriend” but you're the only person that I want. If I stop wanting you, our relationship is over anyway and it's probably something you have no control over.

Jealousy is not cute.

If I choose to be in a relationship with you, you're ahead of every single other person in my life. It doesn't matter if I talk to a thousand pretty girls. You're the one who has me. You're the one who I want. Lose the jealousy. There's no need for it.

Cheating is not what you think it is.

If we're “dating” and you fuck someone else, as long as you tell me about it and you don't give me STDs, I really don't care. “Cheating” a relationship shouldn't be a physical thing. If I have a mutual agreement with someone to be in a relationship with them, it should mean that I'm the most important person in their life. That's not to say the only important person, because I think everyone should have more than one important person or friend in their life. That being said, if you intentionally go out and fuck random people, chances are you aren't that into me anyway. In which case, you've cheated our relationship. As soon as you start giving someone else more priority than the person who you say is the most important in your life, the relationship is over. The minute you lie to me, our relationship is over.

Lying is unacceptable.

If I ask you about something and you choose to lie to me, the moment I find out you lied, our relationship is over. There shouldn't be anything you can't tell me. I'm not judgemental or unreasonable. I have an open mind & an open heart. Try me.

Chivalry is dead

Don't wait for me to do everything. If you don't tell me you like me, how am I supposed to know that you do? Yeah, I'm good at reading people. Yeah, I probably know that you like me. But what if I don't know? It shouldn't be “the guy's job” to talk to you all the time. If you want to talk to me, you should do it! If you want to see me, make plans! If you're expecting me to “take care of you”, think again. I may decide to be nice-take you out to dinner, buy you something I think you'd like, call you when you're upset-but it might not happen all the time.

I'm not going to work all day while you stay at home doing nothing.

I'm not traditional. I don't think women should have set tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. If I ever got married, I would want my spouse to have interests, opinions, passions, and a career. I can cook. I can clean. I can do my own laundry. It's impressive to me when someone is independent, organized, talented, and responsible.

Sex is not a currency

I'm not going to do things for you so that you'll fuck me. It should be mutual. You can't control me that way, and it's insulting to me if you even think you can try it.

Love and sex

The two topics should never be grouped together. Sex is a physical instinct that all living things share. Even plants have sex. It's a healthy activity and good exercise. It can bring you closer to someone, but it is entirely unnecessary in a relationship. I may agree that when you love someone, or care about them, you will want to have sex with them. That may be; However, I also believe the desire to have sex with a lover comes from wanting to be as close to that person as possible.

Marriage

I'm going to get married someday, but right now? I'm not even thinking about it. I refuse to rush into something that is supposed to last forever. Ask me again in 6 years when my life is stable and I might just consider it.

Children?

I don't intend to ever create any of my own. Actually, I'm prepared to get a vasectomy sometime in the near future. I think it would be amazing to have my own children, but I also believe there are too many people having children. Our world is only so big, our resources are limited. Not everyone is as responsible as I am and I can't make decisions for them. However, I can make decisions for myself. I can choose to not create any children, but save the ones who have been abandoned. There are enough children in the world looking for a home, and when I'm ready, I would like to give someone a home

--- Unorganized topics/thoughts
long absences don’t change us - relationship on hold/suspended temporarily
start conversations with purpose
leave me alone when I’m sick
leave me to my projects
repetitive actions devoid of meaning and expectations
opinions of friends
praising mediocrity
fishing for compliments
passive agressive

Relationships. Friendship & love.

Introduction

“You didn't seem like a relationship kind of guy so I never really brought it up or pushed it or anything.”


Every person you've ever met before and every person you haven’t met before, all have a relationship to you. “Stranger” is a relationship. I get asked the same questions over and over again by people seeking my friendship, my business, my time, or my heart. I'm a very guarded person. I have a complicated mind, trust issues, and a solitary heart. I enjoy talking to people, but I almost never let them close to me. If you want to get close to me, as a lover or a friend, I hope you have a lot of patience, and I suggest you read this very carefully. Be aware that the categories are in no logical order.

The Basics

I find you attractive but I don't want you.

“Yeah I think you’re cute but I just came to say hello”


I'm a friendly, flirty person. Why? Because it's fun. That does not mean that I want anything from you. There's a very high chance that I have absolutely no interest in anything but friendship from you, if that. I like knowing people & I like friends. I like social experiments. People’s lives and interests are so unpredictable and fascinating. Every person’s life and experiences are unique & I want to continue to grow as a person. By observing the experiences, opinions, thoughts, behaviours, and views of other people, I can absorb new mental stimuli and continue to grow in my personal philosophy. You may be beautiful, but if your personality doesn't match, than what use are you? Beauty fades, but your personality will hold you up forever.

I probably care about you more than you know.

I may not always let on how much I care about you. Trust and feelings develop over time. That one time when you need me the most, I will be there. When you're upset and you need someone who will listen, that's me. I enjoy making other people happy. Everyone has something tragic about their life. We're all struggling and have stresses. We're all living life together, shouldn't we help each other through it?

Your boyfriend doesn't matter to me: if I want you, I will have you.


Boyfriend/girlfriend is a temporary title. Temporary relationships are used to find the person you're most compatible with. If I meet someone who interests me, it won't matter what their relationship status is. Even if that means being nothing more than friends until their other relationship ends. Nobody can foresee the future. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.

Sometimes there are no answers

I trust my feelings. I may not always know why I like someone, but my feelings are almost always right about people. Trying to translate a feeling into words is one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks. I've noticed that people always want to know why you feel a certain way. Well, I can try to describe it using adjectives, but they always seem to sound diluted. A feeling is something that can be seen in ways other than words. I say this all the time: if I like you, you'll know about it.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're dumb!

Some people will think that’s kind of harsh, but I'm an intelligent person. Dumb people irritate me. It's not an issue of arrogance or patience, I get frustrated when I try to explain myself and somebody can’t comprehend it. I want someone who can pay attention when I'm talking, can hold a conversation, and provide a valid response. Okay, I'm not going to discriminate against anyone for not being as “smart” as I am, but I'm not going to date them either.

Do what you say you're going to do.

The quickest way to irritate me is to not follow through on the things you say. It's really simple. If you absolutely can't make good on your plans with me, show me some courtesy and let me know about it ahead of time! It's really disappointing how many people can't get such a simple concept. If I can't trust you, we're not friends.

You need to calm down

I can't stand hot tempers, violence, drama, repeating myself, control freaks, druggies, idiots, people who don't know how to listen, vengefulness, and jealousy. You can talk through anything with me,  there's no reason to lose control of yourself. I will never seek to harm you in any way.

Don't ignore me

If you've got a problem with me, what should you do? Talk about it! You ever think, maybe, I have no idea that I've done something wrong? Even if we can't resolve it with one conversation, we can keep trying until we get it. There's always a solution. I'm willing to figure it out, are you?

Don't turn things around on me

If I confront you on something, don't try to accuse me of something else. You can bring it up after we've resolved my problem. If you wanted to bring something up, you should have done it before.

Here's an example of common issue:

Me: “How come you don't talk to me anymore?”


You: “You don't text me!”


Me: “I just did.”


Leave out all the excuses.

If you don't want to do something, just say you don't want to. There's always a way to accomplish the things you want to do. If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

Anything you want to say that's longer than 3 text messages should be made into a phone call.

Seriously, I can't stand text conversations. I don't want to have an intense conversation that's dragged out for 3 days through text messages when it could have been resolved in 30 minutes on the phone.

Don't expect it to be easy to be my girlfriend.

If I've known you for a week, I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend! I'm opposed to the stereotype attached with the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, and, therefor, heavily avoid giving the title away. There are girls who can't go a week without having a boyfriend. They're single for a week so they talk to all the guys they can until one of them “takes them off the market”. If you're important to me, you're going to know about it. If you want me, you'll make yourself available. I'm not going to chase after you. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to put more effort into my relationship with you than you're willing to give back to me.

I'm not going to touch you in public.

Our relationship is nobody else's business. It's rude to be excessively physical with someone in public. It's annoying when I see people doing it, so I'm sure it's just as annoying to somebody else watching me. Does that mean I won't kiss you in public? No. I'm not shy, I just won't be excessive about it. We can still hold hands. That's cute.

Say my name when you talk about me.

I'm not “baby”, or “boyfriend”, or “my love”, or whatever pet name you conjure up. It's annoying to see people say things like “with boyfrienddd” or “at baby's”. I have a name, use it. Thanks.

Don't abandon me. Don't give up on me.

I know I'm difficult to understand sometimes. I know I'm not always going to say the right things. Is that an excuse for you to drop me as a friend? Really? I never understood how people could do that. It hurts me to lose anyone who I've shared a part of my life with. I don't want to feel like all the time I've spent with you has been a waste. Yeah, times aren't always going to be good. But you can still remember that we had good times, right? Why would you suddenly tell me that I mean nothing to you or that you never want to talk to me again? I know I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve that.

I'm not too good for you.

This is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. It's depressing how common of a response it is. What makes you think I'm any better than you are? Who are you to tell me something like that? If I want you, that's my choice. You don't have to understand why.

I only want one person

If I like/love someone a lot, I'm not going to be interested in anyone else. You may not have the title of “girlfriend” but you're the only person that I want. If I stop wanting you, our relationship is over anyway and it's probably something you have no control over.

Jealousy is not cute.

If I choose to be in a relationship with you, you're ahead of every single other person in my life. It doesn't matter if I talk to a thousand pretty girls. You're the one who has me. You're the one who I want. Lose the jealousy. There's no need for it.

Cheating is not what you think it is.

If we're “dating” and you fuck someone else, as long as you tell me about it and you don't give me STDs, I really don't care. “Cheating” a relationship shouldn't be a physical thing. If I have a mutual agreement with someone to be in a relationship with them, it should mean that I'm the most important person in their life. That's not to say the only important person, because I think everyone should have more than one important person or friend in their life. That being said, if you intentionally go out and fuck random people, chances are you aren't that into me anyway. In which case, you've cheated our relationship. As soon as you start giving someone else more priority than the person who you say is the most important in your life, the relationship is over. The minute you lie to me, our relationship is over.

Lying is unacceptable.

If I ask you about something and you choose to lie to me, the moment I find out you lied, our relationship is over. There shouldn't be anything you can't tell me. I'm not judgemental or unreasonable. I have an open mind & an open heart. Try me.

Chivalry is dead

Don't wait for me to do everything. If you don't tell me you like me, how am I supposed to know that you do? Yeah, I'm good at reading people. Yeah, I probably know that you like me. But what if I don't know? It shouldn't be “the guy's job” to talk to you all the time. If you want to talk to me, you should do it! If you want to see me, make plans! If you're expecting me to “take care of you”, think again. I may decide to be nice-take you out to dinner, buy you something I think you'd like, call you when you're upset-but it might not happen all the time.

I'm not going to work all day while you stay at home doing nothing.

I'm not traditional. I don't think women should have set tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. If I ever got married, I would want my spouse to have interests, opinions, passions, and a career. I can cook. I can clean. I can do my own laundry. It's impressive to me when someone is independent, organized, talented, and responsible.

Sex is not a currency

I'm not going to do things for you so that you'll fuck me. It should be mutual. You can't control me that way, and it's insulting to me if you even think you can try it.

Love and sex

The two topics should never be grouped together. Sex is a physical instinct that all living things share. Even plants have sex. It's a healthy activity and good exercise. It can bring you closer to someone, but it is entirely unnecessary in a relationship. I may agree that when you love someone, or care about them, you will want to have sex with them. That may be; However, I also believe the desire to have sex with a lover comes from wanting to be as close to that person as possible.

Marriage

I'm going to get married someday, but right now? I'm not even thinking about it. I refuse to rush into something that is supposed to last forever. Ask me again in 6 years when my life is stable and I might just consider it.

Children?

I don't intend to ever create any of my own. Actually, I'm prepared to get a vasectomy sometime in the near future. I think it would be amazing to have my own children, but I also believe there are too many people having children. Our world is only so big, our resources are limited. Not everyone is as responsible as I am and I can't make decisions for them. However, I can make decisions for myself. I can choose to not create any children, but save the ones who have been abandoned. There are enough children in the world looking for a home, and when I'm ready, I would like to give someone a home

--- Unorganized topics/thoughts
long absences don’t change us - relationship on hold/suspended temporarily
start conversations with purpose
leave me alone when I’m sick
leave me to my projects
repetitive actions devoid of meaning and expectations
opinions of friends
praising mediocrity
fishing for compliments
passive agressive

32 girlfriend requirements

Understand  social media, basic psychology,

be tech savvy, artistic, happy, confident,

able to communicate, problem solve, take action, DIY,

like math/science, robots, gadgets,

read books, harry potter, science fiction,

watch stargate sg-1, anime, house, star trek, and big bang theory,

style your hair,

take care of your body,

wear nice clothes,

 

have a job, interests, hobbies,

hold a conversation,

play zelda, pokemon, final fantasy, and mario,

love yourself and love me.

32 girlfriend requirements

Understand  social media, basic psychology,

be tech savvy, artistic, happy, confident,

able to communicate, problem solve, take action, DIY,

like math/science, robots, gadgets,

read books, harry potter, science fiction,

watch stargate sg-1, anime, house, star trek, and big bang theory,

style your hair,

take care of your body,

wear nice clothes,

 

have a job, interests, hobbies,

hold a conversation,

play zelda, pokemon, final fantasy, and mario,

love yourself and love me.

When relationships end, it's not really a loss




everything ends.






when relationships end, it's not really a loss






it's just back to neutral






there won't be any MORE with that person, but there won't be any less than what you had without them






and you get to keep the memories.. all the time with them becomes a part of you and in most cases causes a better you as a result






it's almost greed that makes us sad when someone isn't with us anymore






because we always want more..


When relationships end, it's not really a loss




everything ends.






when relationships end, it's not really a loss






it's just back to neutral






there won't be any MORE with that person, but there won't be any less than what you had without them






and you get to keep the memories.. all the time with them becomes a part of you and in most cases causes a better you as a result






it's almost greed that makes us sad when someone isn't with us anymore






because we always want more..


Who do you blame for how you feel?



Every emotion you have is your choice.

Perspective is everything.

They don't teach it very well in our culture




How to accept life and be happy









The origin of feelings.

How many times have you blamed someone else for your feelings?

"You're making me so mad!"

Nope.






I can't make you mad, only you make you mad.






 

All people can do is influence us.

We're the only one who chooses.


Who do you blame for how you feel?



Every emotion you have is your choice.

Perspective is everything.

They don't teach it very well in our culture




How to accept life and be happy









The origin of feelings.

How many times have you blamed someone else for your feelings?

"You're making me so mad!"

Nope.






I can't make you mad, only you make you mad.






All people can do is influence us.

We're the only one who chooses.


Can I ask you a crazy questions?

Romina: can i ask you a crazy question?!
Joe: of course
Joe: it's probably not as crazy as you think
Romina: if you were a multimillionaire would you want to settle down? and if you did would you go for a normal girl?
Romina: no to both right?
Joe: i'm already not a multimillionaire and don't go for normal girls
Romina: hahahaha
Joe: and define settle down
Romina: like idk? date?
Romina: in a commited relationship
Joe: i'd set up a central base but i'd still do plenty of things
Joe: i'm in hundreds of committed relationships already
Romina: hahahah
Joe: i doubt that would change :P
Romina: hahahahahaha
Romina: you're too uncommon!
Romina: =P
Joe: yeah ;]
Joe: i'd probably move to another country that isn't so retarded
Joe: where the women aren't full of ego or obsessed with themselves
Romina: thats true
Joe: where people want to learn and be better versions of themselves
Joe: and being educated is sought after and rewarded
Romina: lol really little of that is ever found
Joe: ok then
Joe: i'll settle for somewhere that 60% of the population isn't obese and jobless :P
Joe: with mountains and fast internet
Romina: hahahahahahahhahaha

Can I ask you a crazy questions?

Romina: can i ask you a crazy question?!
Joe: of course
Joe: it's probably not as crazy as you think
Romina: if you were a multimillionaire would you want to settle down? and if you did would you go for a normal girl?
Romina: no to both right?
Joe: i'm already not a multimillionaire and don't go for normal girls
Romina: hahahaha
Joe: and define settle down
Romina: like idk? date?
Romina: in a commited relationship
Joe: i'd set up a central base but i'd still do plenty of things
Joe: i'm in hundreds of committed relationships already
Romina: hahahah
Joe: i doubt that would change :P
Romina: hahahahahaha
Romina: you're too uncommon!
Romina: =P
Joe: yeah ;]
Joe: i'd probably move to another country that isn't so retarded
Joe: where the women aren't full of ego or obsessed with themselves
Romina: thats true
Joe: where people want to learn and be better versions of themselves
Joe: and being educated is sought after and rewarded
Romina: lol really little of that is ever found
Joe: ok then
Joe: i'll settle for somewhere that 60% of the population isn't obese and jobless :P
Joe: with mountains and fast internet
Romina: hahahahahahahhahaha

I saw a girl say her boyfriend was lucky to have her

Get the fuck over yourself!

If any girlfriend of mine said i was lucky to have her, i would break up with her on the spot.

You make a choice to date me or not, it's nothing to do with luck. I would never choose to be around someone who viewed me as inferior.

Posted this to Facebook and got a good response. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd.

I saw a girl say her boyfriend was lucky to have her

Get the fuck over yourself!

If any girlfriend of mine said i was lucky to have her, i would break up with her on the spot.

You make a choice to date me or not, it's nothing to do with luck. I would never choose to be around someone who viewed me as inferior.

Posted this to Facebook and got a good response. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd.

"We hadn't really talked a lot. So I took it as you just wanted to fuck"

Everything I hate about American culture in a sentence.

My parents maintained a relationship from Florida to Illinois after they met each other over a summer vacation.

They would take turns calling each other once a week because long distance calls were expensive.

They would write letters back and forth that would take days or weeks to arrive.

People today.. take it for granted how convenient communication and travel is.

Time is not real. Humans made it up.

And Humans alone maintain it.

"We hadn't really talked a lot. So I took it as you just wanted to fuck"




Everything I  hate about American culture in a sentence.






My parents maintained a relationship from Florida to Illinois after they met each other over a  summer vacation.






They would take turns calling each other once a week because long distance calls were expensive  .






They would write letters back and forth that would take days or weeks to arrive.






People today.. take it for granted how convenient communication and travel is.

Time is not real.  Humans made it up.  

And Humans alone maintain it.