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everything-is-pointless
@laurakristinexo Talk shit about my friends and I'll kick your ass.
Me: @laurakristinexo that's mature
@laurakristinexo: As is talking shit in the first place.... and a snide comment on the internet.
Me: it's up to you how you react. also, matter of opinion what's snide or "talking shit"
@laurakristinexo: EXACTLY. Now keep your opinions to yourself. Lol, this conversation is completely pointless. Who even are you?
@laurakristinexo: Oh, never mind. I don't care, goodbye.
Me: you're pointless. lol
@laurakristinexo: Lmfao. I'm surprised you even knew which your/you're to use. Refer to my last tweet*.
* not sure but she tweeted SOME PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND SARCASM AND THESE PEOPLE NEED TO STAY OFF THE INTERNET.
Me: good luck with your ego problem ;)
@laurakristinexo: Lol, you don't even know me, dickwad. Why are you still talking?
Me: i do know you, actually. here's the definition for you: To know: Be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information
Me: a little humility should do you well. Do you need the definition of that too?
@laurakristinexo: Ugh, I thought I blocked you.
Me: your profile is public, genius.
*she tweets something public about trolls that i happened to see
Me: also, don't flatter yourself. I wasn't trolling you.
@laurakristinexo: Why are you going through all this trouble to try to talk to me then? You don't even follow me...
Me: it's really not troublesome.. and I was following you. When you hit the "block" button it forces the person to unfollow you
@laurakristinexo: I'm not flattered by people feeling the need to waste their time forcing their opinions onto others via the internet.
@laurakristinexo: Now, please, block me and go on with your life.
Me: and yet that's what you just did. Oh the irony!
@laurakristinexo: Because I want you to go away. Just stop, your opinions have no effect on my life.
Me: you can stop replying any time. My motives are my own and I don't need instruction from you.
@laurakristinexo: Same to you.
Me: I'm not the one with a problem. I don't mind replying. Never know what might happen.
Me: i'm surprised you even knew which your/you're to use
@laurakristinexo: And you're implying that I'M immature.. Fuck off.
Me: SOME PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND SARCASM AND THESE PEOPLE NEED TO STAY OFF THE INTERNET.
@laurakristinexo: Lol, what are you even saying?
Me: i'm saying I have no idea what you're going to say next. not all things need to be said with purpose
@laurakristinexo: "SOME PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND SARCASM AND THESE PEOPLE NEED TO STAY OFF THE INTERNET.” Ahem, you...
Me: ahem that's you twice now. just figured i'd say it in your own words so you'd understand
@laurakristinexo: I don't even know who you are and you don't know me so can we please just move on with our lives?
Me: i thought i already covered this. we do know each other. the fact that you can even communicate with me proves that.
@laurakristinexo: We don't know each other in real life. PLEASE, try to be a decent human being here and just block me.
Me: ... what are you even talking about? how would blocking you somehow make me a decent human being?
Me: do you even think about what you write?
@laurakristinexo: You are truly a piece of work.
Me: good job not answering the question.
@laurakristinexo: Yes, I do think about what I write. More than you know, further proving the fact that you do not know who am I as a person.
Me: which is why i asked you the question.. you really don't know how to talk to people, do you?
@laurakristinexo: Yes, I do. I don't have to prove anything to you.
Me: why do you keep replying?
@laurakristinexo: Because I'm trying my hardest to get you to block me so I can go on with my day.
Me: why do you want me to block you?? that makes no sense. I don't block anybody. Ever. Open communication and such.
@laurakristinexo: I want you to block me because I don't want to put my twitter on private just because you won't stop being an asshole.
@laurakristinexo: And I have no need or want to communicate with you.
Me: then why are you? you're contradicting yourself a bit.
Me: coincidentally i have no need or want to talk to you either.
@laurakristinexo: I told you why already, to try to get you to block me. Perfect. Now please, just go ahead and block me.
Me: ... you're really stuck on getting me to do something. How about YOU stop replying. Because you can only control you.
**end

Trending dysfunctional coping skills and communication


This situation isn't unique. Here are some patterns that show up freakishly often:
- "you don't even know me"
- "i mean in real life" (as opposed to what? fake life?)
- skip to insults
- grammar criticism. (she tried this one but I never actually made a grammar mistake)
- unfounded use of the word "asshole" or phrase "being an asshole"
- assumed hostility
- aversion to questions that provoke thought
- aversion to reasonable proof
- relying on the actions of others (I'm trying to make you block me)
What else did you notice?

My Favorite parts


"Who even are you?"
Obviously nobody reads bios anymore.
 "Lmfao. I'm surprised you even knew which your/you're to use."
Wait.. were you trying to insult me.. was that a compliment or..? It's like she's trying to belittle me because my grammar was correct and it surprised her. But I'm pretty sure what she's really implying (by the surprised part) is that most people she talks to aren't capable of getting it right.
"SOME PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND SARCASM AND THESE PEOPLE NEED TO STAY OFF THE INTERNET."
... pretty sure the first thing I said was sarcastically implying what she said wasn't mature by my choice of "that's mature".
What was your favorite part?

Bonus! Phrases that mean nothing


"go on with your life"
(as opposed to......? do you think my life is stopped now?)

"I want you to go away"
(yeah, you're actually choosing to read this and I'm not physically in front of you. stop reading any time. )

"You are truly a piece of work"
(this is an obscure way of saying "you're making me think too much")

"you won’t stop being an asshole"
(usually the user is referring to some person who isn't doing or saying exactly whatever they want them to)

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